Issue 5 October 2005

This year really is racing along anxious to become 2008 and before we're even ready for it. Just a few short weeks and it will be impossible for even the most unobservant of us to ignore the tinsel and glitter appearing in the shops along with the lists written by children (of all ages) stating this year's must have gifts.

But before that there's a whole autumn to get through - the trees changing, the sky seemingly ever grey and eventually having to give in and start wearing warmer clothing as you just can't pretend it's still an Indian summer. This time last year I made a visit to Cumbria and took this picture at Thirlmere. There is a lot of beauty around us at all times of year. As the shops want us to think ahead, take time to reflect on what is happening now. Enjoy it before you get caught up in the pressure of winter commercialism.

We've had some great responses to the events that we're running here in the North East. If you live outside the area and would like to see similar events near you, please get in touch. If you are run events in the North East and want to get on with presenting your event while someone else deals with the organisation side - talk to us.

Until next month, be kind to yourself

Pauline

What's Your Gut Reaction?

How much time have you spent listening to the way that adults talk to children? Whether you're standing at the school gates, in a supermarket queue or on a holiday beach, you can bet that you often hear the same sort of things.

"You can't do that!" "You don't mean that" or, my favourite "of course you like it." And you know, these adults are only repeating to children what was said to them. So, firstly, let me start by saying don't beat yourself up if you find that you are also telling your children what they think or what they feel or what (or who) they do or do not like.

It's like this. Your child, at a very young age, announces that your grandmother "smells funny." Ok, she's getting on a bit and lavender water is no longer popular (and it no longer masks every odour). You know that she "smells funny" but why does your child have to say it out loud! Ok, she's going a bit deaf - but your mother isn't and she hears. Obviously she's now thinking that you're not brining your child up with any manners...

So, suddenly you find yourself telling your child that granny doesn't smell and they are being very rude.

So, what happens next? Your at the park, sitting with another parent from play group as your child and theirs runs around the play area. They aren't getting on too well, so you ask your child to "play nicely." Then they announce that they don't like this child - "he's horrible" loudly, in the face of this child's mother. "Oh, you don't mean that." And you start to apologise for your child...

I could go on, but that's just a couple of scenarios where we tell our children not to trust what they are thinking or feeling inside. At the moment that they say granny smells funny, to them she does. But as parents we contradict that knowledge. When they say that a child is horrible, that is how they feel about that child. But then we contradict them.

As parents, teachers and other significant adults in a child's life we have incredible influence in a child's life. However, we often do exactly what was done to us. We tell the child that what they think or feel isn't real. In an attempt to get this young person to conform and be accepted in society, we have asked them to disbelieve their own thoughts and feelings.

The result is that as a society we find if difficult to use our intuition when trying to decide what we want to do with our lives. We have been taught from a very young age that what we feel inside isn't right and to find external references for our feelings.

As adults, if seek approval from friends, family, colleagues before making decisions that affect our lives. So, it's ok to get as much information as possible and to discuss changes with people who may be affected by them. But you also need to remember that many of these people have a vested interest in what you do or do not do in the future. So what happened to what you really wanted to do?

As I said at the beginning, don't feel guilty, but do try to be aware of how powerful your words are. And you're not telling the child that their thoughts and feelings are right or wrong - you just simply need to acknowledge that they have that feeling.And then start giving yourself permission to listen to what you feel inside.

Human nature has instinct for a reason. Whether as a survival mechanism or an inner spiritual guide, it is there to help us in our lives. So, next time you want to know how you feel or what you think about something, forget the external messages and ask yourself "what's my gut reaction to this?"

Introduction to Mindfulness

Following the success of our first joint venture with Truepotential, we are pleased to announce that we are arranging further workshops introducing the art of mindfulness to individuals and personal development professionals.

The next date is Wednesday 28th November at Embleton Hall, Nr Morpeth. This day is already almost full, so if you want to come along, get in touch now email event@prfsolutions.com to reserve your place.

We will also be announcing dates for Durham and Cumbria.

For more details click here

What people said:

I believe there is much value...and that mindfulness can be of real benefit to people in the workplace (Beverley Elder, Senior HR Executive, Newcastle City Council)"

Very enjoyable and thought provoking.

Inspiring - opened up a whole new horizon (JP)

Inner Wellbeing

Don't forget that our networking and skills workshop for personal development professionals is taking place this month.

Twice a year PRF Solutions arranges a day where you can attend short workshops and taster sessions and network with other professionals from the public and private sector, promote your services and learn more about areas you may want to develop.

Thursday 18th October
9.30am to 4.30pm
at The Innovation Centre Hartlepool
£60
more...

Professional Presentations

A new one day workshop designed to increase your confidence when giving presentations.

By being physically and mentally prepared you can give outstanding talks to colleagues, decision-makers, stakeholders and to the public. The techniques used by professional theatre practitioners are used and adapted for the business presentation. A professional drama worker runs the workshop and brings all the skills involved in holding an audiences attention to the boardroom. This is a relaxed and supportive day where you will learn:
• How to prepare what you want to say - analysing the words and the message you want to get across
• The effective use of your voice, how to get the right pitch and volume
• Techniques to rehearse in private
• Use of rhythm and movement when speaking
• Essential skills to relax you before and during your presentation.
Thursday 29th November at Embleton Hall, Nr Morpeth, Cost £95
Reserve your place by email: event@prfsolutions.com


Many thanks for taking the time to read our newsletter. Please contact us if you have any comments on any of the items in this or any previous newsletters.

As well as the newsletter we will, from time to time send information about workshops and events that are taking place. In order to that we can develop a successful professional development network for the North East of England we rely on our contacts. We are very grateful for your help in forwarding these details to anyone you believe may be interested. Thank you.

Contact Information
Pauline Fraser
email pauline@prfsolutions.com
PO Box 220, Morpeth, NE61 9AW
telephone +44 (0)1670 50 55 30

PRF Solutions | PO Box 220 | Morpeth | Northumberland | NE61 9AW | United Kingdom